Very Very Very Sad

With the crash of my hard drive last month I lost all of my Quicken Data from May 2007 to the present. This sucks! Not just because I'm anal retentive and meticulously log every financial transaction I make, but because this information is actually critical to this year's tax return. I had hopes of recreating the info by re-entering the information from my bank statements, but the matrix of accounts and transactions is so complicated, it would take several days to get it all right. And even then some of the information is too old to be recalled - like checks written for which I only know a date and amount, not to whom or for what. In a rash and bold move, I just decided to delete everything I worked on last weekend and start from scratch as of Jan 1 2008. But a little twinge deep in my gut makes me feel guilty for giving up so easily. Really though, I think it will be fine, I just have to get over wanting to have everything be exactly so. This is the same sort of gusto that led me to shred boxes full of files and receipts that I had been holding on to since I was in high school. Of course, during that shredding incident I destroyed two of my diplomas (though not my B.A., phew), so maybe that's why I'm worried about having a 7 month information gap. I think I'll go get a bottle of wine and drink it all and then just not worry about it. Ahhh, now that sounds responsible.

Notes on Being a Grownup

There was a time in my life all I needed to feel like a grownup was to pay bills. Silly now, and it was silly then. I was 18 and had my first apartment. Actually it was my second, but it was my first me apartment, the first of many small, quirky and most importantly, inexpensive, places that I have a knack of finding. I remember the conversation - I was on the phone with my mom and had just received the electricity bill. It was low, but higher than my mom thought I should be paying. And I told her I liked it, that it made me feel like a grownup.
Now things are a little more sophisticated. Tonight I feel like a grownup because I'm going to sleep in my new bed for the first time. Its a queen size bed. I bought wrinkle free cotton sheets, 300 thread count, and they look and feel like fresh cream. My duvet was purchased from my favorite store, West Elm, and makes the bed look like a cloud. My dream bed, well almost, as the duvet wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but very very close.
Oh, and not exactly my dream bed because the only thing sharing it with me will be the kitties, but again, very close. And I did it all by myself.
Another grown up thing happened today, but not as pleasant as a beautiful new sleeping spot. I spoke with my mom and dad about the estate. A conversation we've had several times since my grandmother passed away. We discussed the division of current and future properties and debt and I expressed my desire for a new will now, while we were thinking about it, that would make me trustee of my brother and would give me control over his portion. Not because I'm an evil sister, but because I don't know for certain that he would be able to manage his portion wisely, considering his current path. Namely the fact that he's in and out of jail and court, constantly in trouble and, I suspect, back on Meth. This part of feeling like a grown up I don't like as much. But its still something I can do all by myself. And for that I help myself to another serving of ice cream, bedcause I'm a grownup and I can do what I want.

Wack in the Brain

I just consumed an entire portion of Pad Thai with Tofu from Pei Wei. It is really my favorite thing there, but I always feel like an enormous lard ass after I do that. And that's where I'm wack, because according to this chart and many others like it, I am mid to low range on my weight for a person of my height. (I'm 5'11 and weigh 150 lbs).

I remember being thinner in high school, but I also remember passing out in the shower almost every day because my blood sugar was so low. This mental idiocy pisses me off. I've read some really interesting articles detailing society's dictation on body type and basically it boils down to being fat is currently associated with being poor (because cheap food is often high calorie, low nutrition and makes you gain weight).

Being thin is associated with being elite. I've never wanted to align myself with elitist. But at the same time I wish I could be borrowing my girl Shelley's size 4 jeans. Double wack, b/c no telling where they've been ;).

Recommended

**Not Teen Pregnancy, the movie you silly**

Camping NYE 2007

I do not recommend camping on NYE if you live in the Northern Hemisphere. I hear its the thing to do South of the Equator where its summer right now, but we froze our butts off. Here are some photos of my trip with my pals to Inks Lake near Burnet Texas. We ate, we drank, we played poker, and we tried to go fishing. Then we drank and played poker some more. Got way wasted on NYE and made an ass of myself by falling down and cutting my hand open. Also the heater went out in the Cabin that night and it was 25 degrees with a high wind. But I still love champagne and luckily, my friends still love me!!

New Year's Resolutions:2008

I've done pretty well with my resolutions from last year. My final 07 Update is as follows

Resolutions '07

1. Improve Finanaces
-Create a budget and stick to it - Budget created although it is a very vague, general budget with lots of room for "extra expenses". Basically I just have my core expenses and I keep them as low as possible, then everything else goes towards debt.
-Pay off credit card debt - Okay, I paid all of my credit cards off in August, but then immediately incurred a bunch of moving expenses, so I'm back to where I was. But if I did it once I can do it again.
-Open a Roth IRA & Start saving for retirement - I opened a traditional IRA and rolled over my previous job's 401k into it. I'm eligible for my new employer's 401k in about a year, so I'm focusing on paying down debt and then will try to catch up and max out the 2008 contribution amount for the 401k.
-Buy a Toyota Prius (maybe even a new one) - Ha! Bought it in June - a break up present for myself.
2. Remember Birthdays and Keep Up with Friends More Often - I did well with this one. But it did cause me to realize I really have a LOT of friends, so I've focused on my real friends and let the acquaintances mostly slip.
3. Improve Personal Appearance
-Become more physically fit (goal measurements 36-28-38) - hit goal in October
-Spend more time caring for hair, skin, nails & teeth - ummm, not so good here
-Update & Improve wardrobe - an ongoing process
4. Maintain a Clean and Organized Household
-Clean & Straighten house often - doing good with this most of the time. Still hate doing dishes
-Finish all renovation/remodeling/improvement projects - Moved, so have a whole new batch of projects.

And that's it!

So now on to my 2008 additions:
1. Goal Measurements 36-26-36.
2. Continue Improving Personal Appearance - The goal is to spend more time looking like an attractive girl and less time hiding myself in baggy clothes with my hair pulled back and my glasses on.
3. Get Lasik Surgery - I already went in for a consultation and they told me I'm not a good candidate but I'm going in for a second opinion.
4. Stop Drinking....okay - Reduce Drinking - I drink too much. Period. I'm too old for this shit and it needs to stop.
5. Read at least 12 Books - an average of 1 per month.
6. Make New Friends - I have lots of good friends, but I don't have someone I would call my 'best friend'. Actually, Chris is my best friend but he lives in L.A., so I need a new BF, one that lives here.

So there's definitely fewer things I want to work on this year, but I feel like I've kinda got things under control for now, so I have fewer 'big' things I want to work on. I guess I should resolve to be careful not to become too content with my life as is and to always be striving for more. But being content for once in my life will be a nice change. And it hasn't happened yet, so I'll worry about it when it does.