My horoscope this morning said
"If something is broken fix it right away and get on with your life".
So, my heart is broken, but I'm not sure how to fix it.
Friday, June 15, 2007
Sunday, June 03, 2007
Everyone feels the same right?
I'm having an inward struggle lately. I can't quite figure out what I want to do with my time...now or in the future. It's a problem I recognize I've been struggling with for many many years, it just seems for some reason to be really important right now, as if: If i don't figure out what to do now I might waste the rest of my life doing the wrong thing or nothing.
I'm just not really sure what I want.
I know I want some sense of security and freedom from financial worry, but that seems like a somewhat short term goal. I don't really have any aspirations of grandeur so I'm really having the damndest time coming up with something for the "Someday".
There's no "big idea" or "top goal" for me.
All of my "goals" seem so little and insignificant.
Take my new year's resolutions for example: They pretty much sum up everything I'm working towards right now. So what happens when I achieve them? I make up another set of really doable short term goals?
Maybe a long term goal should be to come up with a long term goal.
I've talked sometimes about wanting to run a wellness facility, but not because its any big dream of mine but because I know I could do it and would enjoy working for myself, but to be quite honest I'm not that keen on the idea of owning my own business because of all of the trouble I know it brings.
I don't desire to be a parent. Period. And personally I think a lot of people in my situation right now choose that option as an alternative to coming up with something better.
Maybe that's why I feel so urgent and glum about this, but surely I'm too young for the ol' tick tock?
I do feel something like uniqueness (but in a bad way) about not having a "dream". And its not like I'm apathetic; I care passionately about a lot of things, just mostly in a philosophical way.
I guess my dream would be to share my opinions about things and get paid for it, but at the same time I have no desire to be a writer (obviously, or I might be a little more diligent about blogging as a start) nor do I wish to be a commentator or a debater or whatever else one may be in the opinions field. Because ultimately opinions have opposites, and both are usually equal. I read once that the truly wise know better than to argue their own opinions because the battle is lost by beginning.
Perhaps my goal should then simply to be truly wise. And never tell anyone about it.
I'm just not really sure what I want.
I know I want some sense of security and freedom from financial worry, but that seems like a somewhat short term goal. I don't really have any aspirations of grandeur so I'm really having the damndest time coming up with something for the "Someday".
There's no "big idea" or "top goal" for me.
All of my "goals" seem so little and insignificant.
Take my new year's resolutions for example: They pretty much sum up everything I'm working towards right now. So what happens when I achieve them? I make up another set of really doable short term goals?
Maybe a long term goal should be to come up with a long term goal.
I've talked sometimes about wanting to run a wellness facility, but not because its any big dream of mine but because I know I could do it and would enjoy working for myself, but to be quite honest I'm not that keen on the idea of owning my own business because of all of the trouble I know it brings.
I don't desire to be a parent. Period. And personally I think a lot of people in my situation right now choose that option as an alternative to coming up with something better.
Maybe that's why I feel so urgent and glum about this, but surely I'm too young for the ol' tick tock?
I do feel something like uniqueness (but in a bad way) about not having a "dream". And its not like I'm apathetic; I care passionately about a lot of things, just mostly in a philosophical way.
I guess my dream would be to share my opinions about things and get paid for it, but at the same time I have no desire to be a writer (obviously, or I might be a little more diligent about blogging as a start) nor do I wish to be a commentator or a debater or whatever else one may be in the opinions field. Because ultimately opinions have opposites, and both are usually equal. I read once that the truly wise know better than to argue their own opinions because the battle is lost by beginning.
Perhaps my goal should then simply to be truly wise. And never tell anyone about it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)