Laying off the iTrain

Last night Josh says to me "Babe, you're working out too much, you don't want your arms to look like Cameron Diaz's"

What's so bad about that?

Okay, but the stomach is gross:

An iTunes weekend!

My boyfriend got me a new ipod!!!!!!
I'm in total shock and am blown away by his generosity and thoughtfulness.
So now comes the task of taking all my old music off my mini and transferring it to my sleek new nano (with Nike+ attachments!!!).
Problem solved easily enough.
Now I'm waiting for iTunes to import all the data and then me, being the type A gal that I am, will sit here for the rest of the weekend perfecting my library and making sure everything is spelled right and spaced right and at the right volume, etc.
I guess I may squeeze in time for a workout or two too.
Then I have a birthday party to go to tomorrow night and my friend Sarah is visiting from Houston tonight so I'm going to try to meet up with her.
Guess I should get going!

Catharsis

I feel a lot better today. About work I mean. I went to the ballet on Thursday night and it was a much needed dose of culture/art therapy. It made me feel much better about my job.
I'm still stuck though:
I can't figure out how to gracefully approach the fact that even working at a break neck pace, I'm not getting my work done in 40 hours a week. I don't think anyone could. Not working the unpaid overtime has only resulted in me missing deadlines, which makes me look worse, not better. Do I continue to put in overtime so that I make my deadlines, or do I keep missing my deadlines and look like I can't do the job? Its sticky.
Also, I'm not being reimbursed for mileage and I'm having to use my car quite a bit for various errands like going to the bank and post office.
I've approached my manager about it several times and his solution is to offer me alternate working hours and help from the other staff. Except that I feel like this is a non-solution because we're so busy I can't really not be here during regular office hours (not because I'm so indispensable but because we are short staffed). Also, the other people in this office are too busy to take time away from their primary functions to help me, so...
And that doesn't address the mileage issue either (maybe 15-20 dollars /week?)
ugh, what to do?
I'm just going to try that Secret hooey and put it out to the universe that I love my job, I make so much money, I have such a fulfilling and happy life.
I meet all of my deadlines and have time to spare.
I drive a new Prius so I don't have to worry about mileage reimbursements.
I am compensated more than fairly for my tremendous efforts.
I am blessed.
I hear that if you blog about it the universe hears you more rapidly ;)

I literally just threw up

That's how sick my job is making me. Yuk :(

I hate my job

Its official: My job is sucking the life from me.
It makes me nauseous.
I want to quit.
I cried all day because the stress has completely broken my spirit.
I'm tired of working overtime and not getting paid for it.
I'm tired of working overtime and not getting all of my work done because I spend so much time doing other people's work and picking up the slack for their lazy asses.
I'm tired of things trickling down to me from all levels because no on else has any follow through.
I want a new job.
I'll be in tomorrow and hope for the best.
I want to be positive about my situation, but every day I start out that way and within 30 minutes I'm completely zapped of all my positive rationales for why I keep showing up to be shat upon.
This is a nightmare.