Notes on Being a Grownup

There was a time in my life all I needed to feel like a grownup was to pay bills. Silly now, and it was silly then. I was 18 and had my first apartment. Actually it was my second, but it was my first me apartment, the first of many small, quirky and most importantly, inexpensive, places that I have a knack of finding. I remember the conversation - I was on the phone with my mom and had just received the electricity bill. It was low, but higher than my mom thought I should be paying. And I told her I liked it, that it made me feel like a grownup.
Now things are a little more sophisticated. Tonight I feel like a grownup because I'm going to sleep in my new bed for the first time. Its a queen size bed. I bought wrinkle free cotton sheets, 300 thread count, and they look and feel like fresh cream. My duvet was purchased from my favorite store, West Elm, and makes the bed look like a cloud. My dream bed, well almost, as the duvet wasn't exactly what I was looking for, but very very close.
Oh, and not exactly my dream bed because the only thing sharing it with me will be the kitties, but again, very close. And I did it all by myself.
Another grown up thing happened today, but not as pleasant as a beautiful new sleeping spot. I spoke with my mom and dad about the estate. A conversation we've had several times since my grandmother passed away. We discussed the division of current and future properties and debt and I expressed my desire for a new will now, while we were thinking about it, that would make me trustee of my brother and would give me control over his portion. Not because I'm an evil sister, but because I don't know for certain that he would be able to manage his portion wisely, considering his current path. Namely the fact that he's in and out of jail and court, constantly in trouble and, I suspect, back on Meth. This part of feeling like a grown up I don't like as much. But its still something I can do all by myself. And for that I help myself to another serving of ice cream, bedcause I'm a grownup and I can do what I want.