Tuesday, April 18, 2006
Megan 2. Bunnies 0
Those damn bunnies. The 2nd attempt on my car was made tonight by a wee crafty bunny disguised as a leaf on the highway. He jumped up just as my car wash approaching but due to my driving in stealth mode (aka less than the speed limit) I was able to narrowly avoid him. Nice try, wee bunny.
Monday, April 17, 2006
Suicide Bunnies
I wouldn't think it was strange if an occasional bunny were to be hit by a car as it crossed the road, but on the drive from the hotel in Alpine to the production office in Marfa I noticed the highway is speckled about every ten to twenty feet with the mangled carcass of a rabbit. Turns out these guys dart out at your car, at all hours of the day, even when you're traveling at slow speeds. I assumed there were so many roadkills left on the highway because there has been no rain to wash them away, but on my first drive home I narrowly avoided killing three rabbits that hurled themselves at my car. I don't know how long my driving record can remain blood-free under these conditions. It seems these bunnies have a death wish.
Sunday, April 16, 2006
My First Time
Its my first time to be on location for a job. Well, not really, I once stayed a weekend in Lake Charles for a commercial shoot and I've traveled to Dallas for modeling jobs in the past, but this is the first time I'm away from HQ for a long period of time. Packing up and getting here was such an ordeal. I'm here for four months: I had absolutely no idea how to pack for four months! I felt like I shouldn't try to bring my whole house with me but there are so many things I use every day that I couldn't decide about bringing with me. For example, I didn't bring too many pairs of shoes mostly for space reasons but now that I'm here I wish I had brought a few more pairs. Toiletries were an entirely different dilemma as I used many of the things I needed to take on the morning I left. Even with all my diligence I forgot to bring my hairbrush and comb.
I left my house at 7:38am on Monday the 10th. Got no sleep the night before because the neighbors were throwing me their own kind of going away party, another all nighter. I'll fight that battle when I get back. I got to the freeway and had to turn around because I had forgotten to take out the trash. I tried my best to leave my apartment in such a state that it would be ok if unattended for a long time. I turned off or unplugged everything, even my refridgerator, which I spent the last week emptying of even the last beer can and mustard bottle.
7:40 I make it to the gas station and fill up. Then I realize I've forgotten my cd player. I need this to listen to all of the books on cd my loving boyfriend has sent with me for my long journey.
By 9:00am I'm in Dripping Springs. I'm about an hour behind schedule at this point but I'm also starving so I stop to get some breakfast tacos. I'm feeling really sleepy but there's nowhere to stop and take a nap. The scenery begins to change once I hit I-10 going west and my car starts to dance on the road a little. I find out why when I stop in Sonora at 11:45am to get gas. The wind is blowing so hard I have a very hard time opening my door. I'm definitely in the desert now. Everything is dusty and brown, it doesn't look like spring rains have made their way here yet if they do come at all. On the tops of the sheer rock cliffs that flank the freeway are wind mills.
Actually, I don't think they're called wind mills, but I can't think of what they're called right now. Maybe turbines. There's hundreds of them, and they accompany me all the way to Ft. Stockton, my final fuel up before I leave the safety of the interstate and head south. I'm a little nervous at this point because my transmission has been skipping intermittently as it downshifts from 3rd to 2nd gear. I'm hoping this is because of the windy conditions. At last I reach sunny, parched Alpine TX and my luxurious accomodations at the Sunday House Inn. Thank God there's wifi here. But now, a much needed nap.
Thursday, April 13, 2006
Duh. or The Perils of Idealism.
It never ceases to amaze: The world, our world, filled with misery and angst. The classic cliche of the 9 to 5 world. The chance to escape that cliche to do something non-transient, challenging, and sometimes meaningful. This opportunity which I relish.
I'm talking about having a career in the film industry. Yet for some, dare I say most, this is just another job! It strikes me as terribly hard to believe that one would submit oneself to the grueling hours, the insurmountable stressors, and constant clash of different personalities just to earn a paycheck. Certainly, these characteristics are true of many jobs, but they are multiplied exponentially in the film world. And yet the further I get involved with the industry, the more 'big' projects I work on, the more I realize that this is the norm and I am the anomaly.
I would not have myself in any other place and I have struggled to get where I am now and also to go further, yet I wonder if it is as appreciated by those who consider this 'just a job'. Does this set me apart and above? or just make me strange? I had drinks tonight with 3 ladies whom I hold in the highest esteem, and yet I suspect for they care nothing for the project they help create. I can only say that I think I am the better off for caring about the art and the craft, because my satisfaction at the close of a project is multifold: not only have I had a had in a tangible creation, but my wallet is fatter as a result.
I'm talking about having a career in the film industry. Yet for some, dare I say most, this is just another job! It strikes me as terribly hard to believe that one would submit oneself to the grueling hours, the insurmountable stressors, and constant clash of different personalities just to earn a paycheck. Certainly, these characteristics are true of many jobs, but they are multiplied exponentially in the film world. And yet the further I get involved with the industry, the more 'big' projects I work on, the more I realize that this is the norm and I am the anomaly.
I would not have myself in any other place and I have struggled to get where I am now and also to go further, yet I wonder if it is as appreciated by those who consider this 'just a job'. Does this set me apart and above? or just make me strange? I had drinks tonight with 3 ladies whom I hold in the highest esteem, and yet I suspect for they care nothing for the project they help create. I can only say that I think I am the better off for caring about the art and the craft, because my satisfaction at the close of a project is multifold: not only have I had a had in a tangible creation, but my wallet is fatter as a result.
Monday, April 10, 2006
Being Impeccable With One's Word
Check out the book The Four Agreements. It is an exploration of ancient Toltec wisdom to help one live a more actualized life. One of the things it proposes is always doing what one says one is going to do. I SO SUCK AT THAT! I'm big on talk but low on walk, even though I try daily to skew the proportion in the opposite direction. So one of the things I had made a promise to do was blog more frequently. I was being prevented from this by not having internet access at my house and not having a job where internet access would have been readily available. Now that I am on a job again, however, I have the capability of fufilling this promise to myself and so I am going to both do so and try and make up for the lost time.
The truth is that I had attempted several times to work up posts at home in word with the intent of copying and pasting them into blogger. I started a couple, which I have included below, but I apologize that they may be incomplete thoughts.
IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING
When did the erosion of human society begin? I don’t really have the time here to analyze the actual progression of events…the point is I’m just sitting in my apartment being pissed off about my neighbors as they blast hip hop bass lines into my cranium. Its 1:40 am. They show no signs of stopping. I’m going to blow a gasket.
Here’s the real crux of the issue: When I moved into this apartment, my first night spent here was interrupted by very loud tejano music and a rowdy party going on next door. Though I repeatedly asked them to turn down the music, they did not, and I spent my first night wide awake. Those neighbors moved out but were quickly replaced by a young couple who spent 98% of their evenings throwing loud parties complete with music, yelling, beer bottle throwing, and barking dogs. This would go on from around 10 or 11 pm every night and continue ALL night until the next morning when I would be getting up for work. I also asked them to stop repeatedly and ultimately had to write a cease and desist letter and inform the landlord of the situation. A few days later they were arrested for firing a weapon and possession of drugs. So now they’re gone and I have new neighbors who are keeping me up. Joy.
So my question is: at what point did it become acceptable in our society to stay up until all hours, yelling, listening to loud music, etc.? I could go and speak to them, but I shouldn’t have to do that. Also, they’re a little scary, and I’m afraid to go bust up their fun. The first time I had an experience like this was when I moved into my first apartment when I was 17. My upstairs neighbor was a frat guy who had parties several times a week. They were so disruptive and I didn’t know what to do, so I called in a noise complaint to the police and they came out to bust up the party. The next morning the guy had keyed my car, and of course I had no way to prove this so I just had to suck it up and keep my mouth shut. I guess it would be different if I didn’t live alone, but as it is, I feel the need to be careful about who I piss off.
My firm belief is that it should be written into every rental agreement, whether it be an apartment or a house or a trailer, whatever: If you are loud enough that your neighbor can hear you and you repeatedly invade their sanctum with your loudness, you should be evicted onto the cold, hard pavement. No exceptions.
Don’t get me wrong, I have an occasional gathering at my home, but I take the necessary steps to ensure I don’t bother my neighbors. First, I make sure the neighbors know that I plan on having people over. By making this precaution I make it easier for them to approach me to tell me to take it down a notch if necessary. Second, I don’t play loud music. It doesn’t need to be at nightclub levels for people to hear it, and music should not be at a level requiring shouting above it to be heard. Last of all, I try to have gatherings on weekend nights and to get everyone out by a reasonable hour.
Okay, so as I type the noise is escalating because a guy and a girl are having an altercation, and she just slapped him…audibly. So at this point I’m definitely not going over there.
Of course, these environments lend themselves to altercations. I wonder sometimes if I’m really just missing out on all the ‘fun’ everyone else seems to be having. I mean, I don’t listen to music until the wee hours, have yelling matches with my friends or boyfriend, or play horseshoes with the trashcan and beer bottles. Yet my life is good and stable and relatively happy, so maybe I’m actually on to something. Quick, alert the friggin media, I’ve discovered the secret to success in life: Don’t act like degenerates and piss off people around you. Go to bed early, live a relatively quiet existence, and if you feel the need to break it down, go to a nightclub or social spot, hell, even a bingo parlor. Above all, keep your home a sanctum. A place of peace and security. Be mindful of others and shut the hell up.
I live in a relatively poor area of town. The houses are a little run down to begin with, but mostly it’s the people who live here that make this area mildly unbearable. Their lives seem so empty and they’ve ceased to care about not tearing the fabric that cloaks the ugly truth of life. They leave trash in the yard, tape up broken windows instead of replacing them, pave yards and chop down trees instead of cultivating them. The streets resemble their souls. My generation is a generation that was raised in environments like this (hey, obviously I wasn’t, but I knew plenty of kids who grew up in shanty houses or trailers with rusting paneling). To them, the lines between acceptable and substandard have moved or blurred. They have no precedence of decency. It’s a tragedy, the tragedy that will ultimately be the downfall of our nation and society.
For fucks sake people, just go to bed! Shut up!
AND
January 6-7, 2006 - My Kingdom for a Cheeseburger – Fasting Days One and Two
7 Days Smoke Free – So far, so good. I am on the second day of my fast and the hunger has not hit me too hard. There have been a few times when I have reached into the refrigerator for my lemonade or into the pantry for my cleanse tea and glimpsed all the food inside and felt my mouth water. I pre-empted this temptation by putting both of my cleansing things right in front, so that I could reach in and grab them and shut the door quickly. This also prevents me from gazing into the pantry or fridge, looking for something to eat, without having the evidence of my fast stare me directly in the face.
Today was not as productive as I would have liked it to be. Both yesterday and today I gave into the temptation of sleeping in (I suspect this is also why thus far the no eating thing has seemed easy as I’ve been asleep). I have managed to clean the kitchen/dishes, do laundry, sweep my bedroom floor, unpack a few boxes from the recently vacated office, make two extra gallons of my lemonade, and make one trip to the grocery store for last minute supplies (that was a tough one). I also scrubbed out my bathtub so that later I can have a nice luxurious soak and spend some quality me time. Other than that have spent a lot of time playing with Mr. Cary who is very happy for all the attention, planted a poinsettia left over from Christmas outside (I doubt it will survive the cold), and read some magazines.
For my last meal on Thursday night, my boyfriend and I had pizza in a cup. If you’ve ever seen the Steve Martin Movie, The Jerk you’ll know what I’m talking about. The Alamo Drafthouse downtown was having a screening of the movie in honor of it’s re-release and were serving this dish, but my honey had to work so we couldn’t make it. So I went and rented the DVD. Now, Pizza in a Cup is a made up dish, but I figured somebody out there had made up a recipe for it and posted it online somewhere. I tried to find a recipe for it online but there were none. Really surprising! I did find one guy who had attempted to make it and he listed his various recipes but he said they were not successful. His ideas were basically pizza sauce/cheese with different kinds of pasta (angel hair and gnocchi). This sounded really wrong to me, so I tried the following:
1 can pizza sauce
8 oz mozzarella cheese, crumbled
1 frozen pizza, cooked and cooled
Combine the pizza sauce and the cheese in a glass casserole dish and bake uncovered at 425 degrees for approx 30 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly and begins to brown a bit. Cut the pizza into bite size pieces. Assemble the pizza in a cup by layering the pieces with the sauce/cheese mixture in a large paper or Styrofoam cup (the wider the better, think the cups ramen noodles come in). Top with a sprinkle of parmesan cheese. Serve immediately, or the pizza crust will get soggy. This serves two people with a little bit left over. You can adjust the amount of cheese you use, but I used a whole brick of mozzarella, and it was too much. I also think you could add regular pizza toppings into the sauce mix when you cook it, or begin with a pizza that already has toppings. To accompany it, we had salad in a cup. To make it a full meal you could also have pretty much any dessert in a cup.
Okay, I have to stop now because this is making me really hungry.
January 8, 2006 – An Ocean in My Belly
8 Days smoke free. My boyfriend, Joshua, asked me about that last night. He says, “8 days smoke free of how many?”
“Ad Infinitum,” I tell him. And then he chuckled at me. I think he doubts my resolve. In fact I know he doubts my resolve. Coming from the perspective of someone who has never smoked, I don’t think he’s in a position to judge. Indeed, I’ve been saying I’ve Quit Smoking for the past six months without it being really true, but I have been trying.
I’ve been a smoker for 10 years and it is such a part of my self-image and personality. I’ve used it as a means for overcoming shyness in crowds and stress when I have no control over the situation. I’m sure non-smokers read these reasons, a few among many, and automatically dismiss them as unworthy reasons to poison one’s body. But smokers will look at these reasons and completely empathize.
Today is the first day I’ve tried the salt water internal bath part of the Master Cleanse. I’m about halfway through a quart of water mixed with 2 teaspoons of sea salt. Needless to say it is not D-lish. I keep imagining that it is chicken noodle soup without the noodles or chicken. Its about the same saltiness. I’m having a really tough time choking it back. Apparently, this is the equivalent of hooking a water hose up to your mouth and letting it run through your body. The salt in the water keeps your body from absorbing the water and instead it just goes straight through. Hmm, we’ll see. I’ll try anything once, usually.
This fast has so far been so different than my last attempt as I haven’t been nearly as hungry. I don’t know if I was just more prepared this time or if its because I’m including the teas (peppermint, Yogi Fasting, and cleansing) which I didn’t use last time. Seven more days to go, and I know I’m going to get sick to death of lemonade. But maybe the salt water thing will get easier.
So a quick update: I still occasionally smoke and I only made it 7 days on the fast (close enough to 10 I say). So, again, I obviously need to work on my impeccability of word.
The truth is that I had attempted several times to work up posts at home in word with the intent of copying and pasting them into blogger. I started a couple, which I have included below, but I apologize that they may be incomplete thoughts.
IT GOES WITHOUT SAYING
When did the erosion of human society begin? I don’t really have the time here to analyze the actual progression of events…the point is I’m just sitting in my apartment being pissed off about my neighbors as they blast hip hop bass lines into my cranium. Its 1:40 am. They show no signs of stopping. I’m going to blow a gasket.
Here’s the real crux of the issue: When I moved into this apartment, my first night spent here was interrupted by very loud tejano music and a rowdy party going on next door. Though I repeatedly asked them to turn down the music, they did not, and I spent my first night wide awake. Those neighbors moved out but were quickly replaced by a young couple who spent 98% of their evenings throwing loud parties complete with music, yelling, beer bottle throwing, and barking dogs. This would go on from around 10 or 11 pm every night and continue ALL night until the next morning when I would be getting up for work. I also asked them to stop repeatedly and ultimately had to write a cease and desist letter and inform the landlord of the situation. A few days later they were arrested for firing a weapon and possession of drugs. So now they’re gone and I have new neighbors who are keeping me up. Joy.
So my question is: at what point did it become acceptable in our society to stay up until all hours, yelling, listening to loud music, etc.? I could go and speak to them, but I shouldn’t have to do that. Also, they’re a little scary, and I’m afraid to go bust up their fun. The first time I had an experience like this was when I moved into my first apartment when I was 17. My upstairs neighbor was a frat guy who had parties several times a week. They were so disruptive and I didn’t know what to do, so I called in a noise complaint to the police and they came out to bust up the party. The next morning the guy had keyed my car, and of course I had no way to prove this so I just had to suck it up and keep my mouth shut. I guess it would be different if I didn’t live alone, but as it is, I feel the need to be careful about who I piss off.
My firm belief is that it should be written into every rental agreement, whether it be an apartment or a house or a trailer, whatever: If you are loud enough that your neighbor can hear you and you repeatedly invade their sanctum with your loudness, you should be evicted onto the cold, hard pavement. No exceptions.
Don’t get me wrong, I have an occasional gathering at my home, but I take the necessary steps to ensure I don’t bother my neighbors. First, I make sure the neighbors know that I plan on having people over. By making this precaution I make it easier for them to approach me to tell me to take it down a notch if necessary. Second, I don’t play loud music. It doesn’t need to be at nightclub levels for people to hear it, and music should not be at a level requiring shouting above it to be heard. Last of all, I try to have gatherings on weekend nights and to get everyone out by a reasonable hour.
Okay, so as I type the noise is escalating because a guy and a girl are having an altercation, and she just slapped him…audibly. So at this point I’m definitely not going over there.
Of course, these environments lend themselves to altercations. I wonder sometimes if I’m really just missing out on all the ‘fun’ everyone else seems to be having. I mean, I don’t listen to music until the wee hours, have yelling matches with my friends or boyfriend, or play horseshoes with the trashcan and beer bottles. Yet my life is good and stable and relatively happy, so maybe I’m actually on to something. Quick, alert the friggin media, I’ve discovered the secret to success in life: Don’t act like degenerates and piss off people around you. Go to bed early, live a relatively quiet existence, and if you feel the need to break it down, go to a nightclub or social spot, hell, even a bingo parlor. Above all, keep your home a sanctum. A place of peace and security. Be mindful of others and shut the hell up.
I live in a relatively poor area of town. The houses are a little run down to begin with, but mostly it’s the people who live here that make this area mildly unbearable. Their lives seem so empty and they’ve ceased to care about not tearing the fabric that cloaks the ugly truth of life. They leave trash in the yard, tape up broken windows instead of replacing them, pave yards and chop down trees instead of cultivating them. The streets resemble their souls. My generation is a generation that was raised in environments like this (hey, obviously I wasn’t, but I knew plenty of kids who grew up in shanty houses or trailers with rusting paneling). To them, the lines between acceptable and substandard have moved or blurred. They have no precedence of decency. It’s a tragedy, the tragedy that will ultimately be the downfall of our nation and society.
For fucks sake people, just go to bed! Shut up!
AND
January 6-7, 2006 - My Kingdom for a Cheeseburger – Fasting Days One and Two
7 Days Smoke Free – So far, so good. I am on the second day of my fast and the hunger has not hit me too hard. There have been a few times when I have reached into the refrigerator for my lemonade or into the pantry for my cleanse tea and glimpsed all the food inside and felt my mouth water. I pre-empted this temptation by putting both of my cleansing things right in front, so that I could reach in and grab them and shut the door quickly. This also prevents me from gazing into the pantry or fridge, looking for something to eat, without having the evidence of my fast stare me directly in the face.
Today was not as productive as I would have liked it to be. Both yesterday and today I gave into the temptation of sleeping in (I suspect this is also why thus far the no eating thing has seemed easy as I’ve been asleep). I have managed to clean the kitchen/dishes, do laundry, sweep my bedroom floor, unpack a few boxes from the recently vacated office, make two extra gallons of my lemonade, and make one trip to the grocery store for last minute supplies (that was a tough one). I also scrubbed out my bathtub so that later I can have a nice luxurious soak and spend some quality me time. Other than that have spent a lot of time playing with Mr. Cary who is very happy for all the attention, planted a poinsettia left over from Christmas outside (I doubt it will survive the cold), and read some magazines.
For my last meal on Thursday night, my boyfriend and I had pizza in a cup. If you’ve ever seen the Steve Martin Movie, The Jerk you’ll know what I’m talking about. The Alamo Drafthouse downtown was having a screening of the movie in honor of it’s re-release and were serving this dish, but my honey had to work so we couldn’t make it. So I went and rented the DVD. Now, Pizza in a Cup is a made up dish, but I figured somebody out there had made up a recipe for it and posted it online somewhere. I tried to find a recipe for it online but there were none. Really surprising! I did find one guy who had attempted to make it and he listed his various recipes but he said they were not successful. His ideas were basically pizza sauce/cheese with different kinds of pasta (angel hair and gnocchi). This sounded really wrong to me, so I tried the following:
1 can pizza sauce
8 oz mozzarella cheese, crumbled
1 frozen pizza, cooked and cooled
Combine the pizza sauce and the cheese in a glass casserole dish and bake uncovered at 425 degrees for approx 30 minutes or until cheese is melted and bubbly and begins to brown a bit. Cut the pizza into bite size pieces. Assemble the pizza in a cup by layering the pieces with the sauce/cheese mixture in a large paper or Styrofoam cup (the wider the better, think the cups ramen noodles come in). Top with a sprinkle of parmesan cheese. Serve immediately, or the pizza crust will get soggy. This serves two people with a little bit left over. You can adjust the amount of cheese you use, but I used a whole brick of mozzarella, and it was too much. I also think you could add regular pizza toppings into the sauce mix when you cook it, or begin with a pizza that already has toppings. To accompany it, we had salad in a cup. To make it a full meal you could also have pretty much any dessert in a cup.
Okay, I have to stop now because this is making me really hungry.
January 8, 2006 – An Ocean in My Belly
8 Days smoke free. My boyfriend, Joshua, asked me about that last night. He says, “8 days smoke free of how many?”
“Ad Infinitum,” I tell him. And then he chuckled at me. I think he doubts my resolve. In fact I know he doubts my resolve. Coming from the perspective of someone who has never smoked, I don’t think he’s in a position to judge. Indeed, I’ve been saying I’ve Quit Smoking for the past six months without it being really true, but I have been trying.
I’ve been a smoker for 10 years and it is such a part of my self-image and personality. I’ve used it as a means for overcoming shyness in crowds and stress when I have no control over the situation. I’m sure non-smokers read these reasons, a few among many, and automatically dismiss them as unworthy reasons to poison one’s body. But smokers will look at these reasons and completely empathize.
Today is the first day I’ve tried the salt water internal bath part of the Master Cleanse. I’m about halfway through a quart of water mixed with 2 teaspoons of sea salt. Needless to say it is not D-lish. I keep imagining that it is chicken noodle soup without the noodles or chicken. Its about the same saltiness. I’m having a really tough time choking it back. Apparently, this is the equivalent of hooking a water hose up to your mouth and letting it run through your body. The salt in the water keeps your body from absorbing the water and instead it just goes straight through. Hmm, we’ll see. I’ll try anything once, usually.
This fast has so far been so different than my last attempt as I haven’t been nearly as hungry. I don’t know if I was just more prepared this time or if its because I’m including the teas (peppermint, Yogi Fasting, and cleansing) which I didn’t use last time. Seven more days to go, and I know I’m going to get sick to death of lemonade. But maybe the salt water thing will get easier.
So a quick update: I still occasionally smoke and I only made it 7 days on the fast (close enough to 10 I say). So, again, I obviously need to work on my impeccability of word.
Going Away Party
I've had a bit to drink in this picture. I had a going away party on Friday night at Opel Divine's. It was a last minute sort of thing as I only knew on Wednesday of last week that I would be leaving for West Texas today, Monday the 10th, for a four month job. My sweet boyfriend came and my friends and it was a lot of fun to see everyone and catch up before I left.
Sunday, February 19, 2006
Try Try Again
What I was saying that got erased was how annoyed I was at Grande Communications refusing to install internet service at my apartment (and even hanging up on me!) because my address was not eligible for their services. Read:Time Warner/Roadrunner has the monopoly on my house. I find out its because my neighbor had cable activated before I had a chance to get Grande. Now, Time Warner internet access is something like $40 per month and Grande is half that so I'm not really in the market to spend twice as much money as necessary on something I would definitely use but is not that necessary. Plus I just blew all my slush funds on a gym membership. After two weeks I've gained two pounds. Way to go genius.
I have a problem with this website.
I have tried to post a few times since the last post and I'll get 3 or 4 paragraphs in to what I want to say and when I try to spell check or post the whole thing gets erased. So, you see, its not so much that I haven't been updating my blog as my blog has been resisting change.
Thursday, January 05, 2006
All Good Things Come to an End
Today is my last day on the job. The show is over, we're packing everything up and shipping it off to post in L.A. and we're all unemployed again.
It's been a really interesting year for me. I always said that if I wasn't working and making a living in the movie industry by the time I was 25, I would give it up and get a straight job. Well, I turn 26 on the 31st of January, so I guess I made it happen. Granted, I did expect to be in front of the camera when I was younger, but I can truly say that I enjoy being behind the camera more. (And I especially enjoy being in the office, far away from the hot, dusty set with no real toilet).
Its really fortunate that this coincides with the beginning of the new year. During my unemployment I am going to do many things I've been putting off for the past 6 months. My friend Shannon and I are going to have a large garage sale, giving me the opportunity to get rid of all of the things that never really found a place when I moved into my new apartment in September. I'm going to work on some disputes I have with various corporations hell bent on screwing me, the 'unwitting' consumer. Ha, they really messed with the wrong lady.
I'm most excited about doing the Master Cleanse, a fasting diet that's been around since the 70's (or earlier, I'm not really sure). I'll start tonight by drinking the cleansing tea and then for the next ten days I consume only lemonade made with lemon juice, maple syrup, and a dash of cayenne pepper. This thing is really amazing and it really works magic on your health. The book by Stanley Burroughs(?) is kinda kooky, new agey crud but just read the main instructions and don't cheat by eating anything. Oh, and don't watch TV! This really has nothing to do with the cleanse, but the last time I did it (the cleanse) I watched a lot of TV and every single fast food/pizza commercial that came on slew me with hunger pangs. The first three days are the hardest, but I've psyched myself up and I'm ready. Some of the things I noticed the first time were:
My skin cleared up-I don't really have acne, but I get hormone pimples around my jaw line and
hair line, and all of these went away. My skin also felt more hydrated.
I felt very clear headed and focused-probably because the caffeine I consume by the bucket
started to course out of my body and my brain started working 'normily' without stimulants.
My armpits stopped stinking-I know, its really gross, but again, the amount of coffee I consume
gives my lymph nodes in my right armpit a run for their money, and even with deoderant I
always have a weird smell there. This dissappeared around the end of the 2nd day during my last fast.
So, I suspect by following the full ten day regimen, I will see more and better results than these listed above.
Other than that, I'm just going to take it easy and hope for the next movie to come along soon. I like having time off, but over the last two years I've been unemployed a couple of times and have never really 'caught up'. At this point in my life I'd like to be investing in my future...buying a house, setting up a retirment fund, building a career. Mostly I'm interested in learning more
about retirement. I know I'm only 26 (almost), but everything I read says you should already be investing by the time you're 25, approximately $3000/yr, in order to retire and support yourself on your earnings. Oh, and I've given up smoking, which is a good investment in the future. I've been smoking since I was fifteen and I've been trying to quit since August. I've managed to go several days at a time without a smoke, but every time I get around my friends who smoke, I REALLY want one too. I just realized I should track how many days I go without a smoke (forever, right?) so as of today it is: Day 5 Smoke Free.
It's been a really interesting year for me. I always said that if I wasn't working and making a living in the movie industry by the time I was 25, I would give it up and get a straight job. Well, I turn 26 on the 31st of January, so I guess I made it happen. Granted, I did expect to be in front of the camera when I was younger, but I can truly say that I enjoy being behind the camera more. (And I especially enjoy being in the office, far away from the hot, dusty set with no real toilet).Its really fortunate that this coincides with the beginning of the new year. During my unemployment I am going to do many things I've been putting off for the past 6 months. My friend Shannon and I are going to have a large garage sale, giving me the opportunity to get rid of all of the things that never really found a place when I moved into my new apartment in September. I'm going to work on some disputes I have with various corporations hell bent on screwing me, the 'unwitting' consumer. Ha, they really messed with the wrong lady.
I'm most excited about doing the Master Cleanse, a fasting diet that's been around since the 70's (or earlier, I'm not really sure). I'll start tonight by drinking the cleansing tea and then for the next ten days I consume only lemonade made with lemon juice, maple syrup, and a dash of cayenne pepper. This thing is really amazing and it really works magic on your health. The book by Stanley Burroughs(?) is kinda kooky, new agey crud but just read the main instructions and don't cheat by eating anything. Oh, and don't watch TV! This really has nothing to do with the cleanse, but the last time I did it (the cleanse) I watched a lot of TV and every single fast food/pizza commercial that came on slew me with hunger pangs. The first three days are the hardest, but I've psyched myself up and I'm ready. Some of the things I noticed the first time were:
My skin cleared up-I don't really have acne, but I get hormone pimples around my jaw line andhair line, and all of these went away. My skin also felt more hydrated.
I felt very clear headed and focused-probably because the caffeine I consume by the bucket
started to course out of my body and my brain started working 'normily' without stimulants.
My armpits stopped stinking-I know, its really gross, but again, the amount of coffee I consume
gives my lymph nodes in my right armpit a run for their money, and even with deoderant I
always have a weird smell there. This dissappeared around the end of the 2nd day during my last fast.
So, I suspect by following the full ten day regimen, I will see more and better results than these listed above.
Other than that, I'm just going to take it easy and hope for the next movie to come along soon. I like having time off, but over the last two years I've been unemployed a couple of times and have never really 'caught up'. At this point in my life I'd like to be investing in my future...buying a house, setting up a retirment fund, building a career. Mostly I'm interested in learning more
about retirement. I know I'm only 26 (almost), but everything I read says you should already be investing by the time you're 25, approximately $3000/yr, in order to retire and support yourself on your earnings. Oh, and I've given up smoking, which is a good investment in the future. I've been smoking since I was fifteen and I've been trying to quit since August. I've managed to go several days at a time without a smoke, but every time I get around my friends who smoke, I REALLY want one too. I just realized I should track how many days I go without a smoke (forever, right?) so as of today it is: Day 5 Smoke Free.
Wednesday, January 04, 2006
Voice Lessons
My whole life I've been told I have an awful tone of voice. People criticize me for sounding critical, sarcastic, or condescending, even when this is farthest from my intent. SO...what exactly am I supposed to do about this? I cannot cease speaking and I cannot pinpoint the particular sound I make that makes people react negatively to my voice, so I cannot 'work' on or fix it.
I suspect the real reason is two-fold:
1. I live in Central Texas, where practically everyone has a soft, almost lazy articulation, and
2. I use full grammar and use a larger variety of words than most.
Oh, and maybe
3. I respond to things very quickly, seemingly without thinking or considering my words. This is often misconstrued as being 'snippy'.
Usually when someone calls me out on my tone of voice, it really does make me angry. Primarily because I find it very rude to criticize someone else for their tone of voice. I would not do it to someone else and I would be open to constructive criticism but I'm not really interested in someone pettily carping that I don't phrase or say something exactly the way they would. I also get really irritated when my 'tone' of voice is merited and people say I'm being too harsh.
There are more important things in life folks, and I would say "mind your own business, please," but I wouldn't want to offend anyone.
I suspect the real reason is two-fold:
1. I live in Central Texas, where practically everyone has a soft, almost lazy articulation, and
2. I use full grammar and use a larger variety of words than most.
Oh, and maybe
3. I respond to things very quickly, seemingly without thinking or considering my words. This is often misconstrued as being 'snippy'.
Usually when someone calls me out on my tone of voice, it really does make me angry. Primarily because I find it very rude to criticize someone else for their tone of voice. I would not do it to someone else and I would be open to constructive criticism but I'm not really interested in someone pettily carping that I don't phrase or say something exactly the way they would. I also get really irritated when my 'tone' of voice is merited and people say I'm being too harsh.
There are more important things in life folks, and I would say "mind your own business, please," but I wouldn't want to offend anyone.
Friday, December 30, 2005
Bad Luck Revisited
Come on Good Luck Charm, work some magic.The latest on my apparent string of supremely bad luck: My charming boyfriend and I took a trip to my family's vacaction home in Lake Whitney TX (not actually IN the lake, but NEAR the lake in a small residential area). We have been talking about taking this trip for months and have never had a good opportunity but Christmas vacations from both of our jobs presented the perfect moment so we took off on a day's notice. My parents warned me that my 23 year old brother had been the last person to visit the house and that it was in pretty bad shape after he and his friends had their way with it, but I was completely unprepared for what I found...lets just say a good portion of our romantic weekend was spent cleaning bugs, urine, and other science class worthy specimens from various corners of the house.
And yet...we managed to have a smashing good time. When we arrived back at my apartment, we were still having such a great time, being romantic and sweet and spontaneous. Moments later I lay bleeding on the floor after sustaining a head wound.
Its not really that bad. We were kissing and he pressed me against the door, a door we thought was closed. It actually was not latched and I fell straight backward, bashing my head against the corner of the coffee table. I fought going to the hospital but was finally convinced to go and had 4 staples put into my head (which we have to remove ourselves in approx 10 days). It doesn't hurt but its beginning to itch which may be because it is healing or because the doctor stapled hair into the gash. God Bless Modern Medicine.
Wednesday, December 14, 2005
Bad Luck Comes a Knockin and Finds Me, Sadly, At Home, Unawares
Aack! I must need a major feng shui makeover or something, I can't quite figure it out. I try and concentrate on the positive things in life, try to direct my energy in positive channels, try to keep my bank account in the positive and my working relationships positive as well.
All have tragically gone to hell in a handbasket in the last week, and I'd just like to dwell on it a little while, thank you very much. And yes, I think it WILL make me feel better if I think about these things over which I have no control.
Most present in my mind is the fact that I lost my cell phone and am thus disconnected from the world for the next 5-7 business days. Then the phone company tried to tell me I didn't have insurance on my account...seems when I updated my account last month to include a new mailing address, they removed my insurance as well. They also don't carry the model of phone I had anymore, so I'm being sent a different kind of phone, for which I will have to purchase all new accessories. I finally talked them into applying the insurance to my replacement phone, but I still have to pay a $50 deductible. Watch me find the damn thing next week.
I've also overdrawn my checking account this month as I didn't go to the bank last night, opting instead to spend several hours tracing my steps trying to find my lost phone. The big thing sucking my fundage dry is a $200 deposit I was required to put down for electricity at my new apartment even though I have had an electric account with the city for almost 2 years (WTF). Its apparently refundable after 6 months.
I'll be lain off from my job in 3 weeks. Of course I've known this is coming for some time, just had hoped I'd have a new position lined up...obviously I don't yet.
These are just a few of the things that have been bumming me out. They're so unimportant and I hate that they have such an impact on my daily functioning.
Next I expect Bush to declare himself Emperor or Czar and make everyone convert to Orthodox Catholicism. Okay, maybe that's going a little far. It will probably just rain this weekend or something. Oh well,
Doom and Gloom Out.
All have tragically gone to hell in a handbasket in the last week, and I'd just like to dwell on it a little while, thank you very much. And yes, I think it WILL make me feel better if I think about these things over which I have no control.
Most present in my mind is the fact that I lost my cell phone and am thus disconnected from the world for the next 5-7 business days. Then the phone company tried to tell me I didn't have insurance on my account...seems when I updated my account last month to include a new mailing address, they removed my insurance as well. They also don't carry the model of phone I had anymore, so I'm being sent a different kind of phone, for which I will have to purchase all new accessories. I finally talked them into applying the insurance to my replacement phone, but I still have to pay a $50 deductible. Watch me find the damn thing next week.
I've also overdrawn my checking account this month as I didn't go to the bank last night, opting instead to spend several hours tracing my steps trying to find my lost phone. The big thing sucking my fundage dry is a $200 deposit I was required to put down for electricity at my new apartment even though I have had an electric account with the city for almost 2 years (WTF). Its apparently refundable after 6 months.
I'll be lain off from my job in 3 weeks. Of course I've known this is coming for some time, just had hoped I'd have a new position lined up...obviously I don't yet.
These are just a few of the things that have been bumming me out. They're so unimportant and I hate that they have such an impact on my daily functioning.
Next I expect Bush to declare himself Emperor or Czar and make everyone convert to Orthodox Catholicism. Okay, maybe that's going a little far. It will probably just rain this weekend or something. Oh well,
Doom and Gloom Out.
Friday, December 09, 2005
I'm all for Kinky
Kinky Friedman has officially announced his intent to run for governor of Texas.
Can I get a hell yeah?
Not familiar with the Kinkster? Read about him in the New Yorker www.newyorker.com/printables/fact/050822fa_fact
Can I get a hell yeah?
Not familiar with the Kinkster? Read about him in the New Yorker www.newyorker.com/printables/fact/050822fa_fact
Thursday, December 01, 2005
Check this Out!
www.okcupid.com/politics
Visit this link for an interesting political test. I've always felt my ideologies didn't really match either the Republican or the Democratic ideologies. So where do I fall in the party system?
Social/Economic Liberal.
Visit this link for an interesting political test. I've always felt my ideologies didn't really match either the Republican or the Democratic ideologies. So where do I fall in the party system?
Social/Economic Liberal.
Identity Crisis
I may be having a major identity crisis. I'm not sure because if I am its still in the early stages. For the first time either ever or in a really long time I'm really feeling massive pressure from all different directions to change many aspects of my life, and I don't like the way it makes me feel.
Wednesday, November 30, 2005
Faceless
Digital cameras are great.
I never was much of one for taking photos of friends, family, or of having my own photo taken. I don't know if this stems from my mom and dad not taking very many photos of me growing up. I seem to remember it was always a really big deal to bring a camera along anywhere. Most of the time when I have a camera I don't take any photos with it. To give you an idea: the last roll of film I developed had photos from various events spanning over a year. That's how long it took me to take 24 exposures.
Now that I dished out the clams for a shiny new digital version, I'm bound and determined to take more photos when-ever-y-where. Which brings me to something I hate:
I never was much of one for taking photos of friends, family, or of having my own photo taken. I don't know if this stems from my mom and dad not taking very many photos of me growing up. I seem to remember it was always a really big deal to bring a camera along anywhere. Most of the time when I have a camera I don't take any photos with it. To give you an idea: the last roll of film I developed had photos from various events spanning over a year. That's how long it took me to take 24 exposures.
Now that I dished out the clams for a shiny new digital version, I'm bound and determined to take more photos when-ever-y-where. Which brings me to something I hate:
People who cover their faces when you try to take their photo. The camera cannot capture your soul, so please don't irritate me by depriving me of a non-flawed image (upper left may look like he's taking an innocent drink from his cup, but this was merely a prop).
Tuesday, November 29, 2005
You Cannot Eat Soup With Chopsticks
Last weekend I helped my friend Shannon move into her new duplex. I managed to take a lovely picture of the moving truck instead of the house. I especially love her yards, both back and front. When you live in apartments for a long time you rationalize that yards are a lot of work, they're not really that important, etc. When you have a yard (not just a patio) with some shrubbery and trees and dirt, the possibilities are limitless. I find a certain calm and sense of accomplishment when working in my yard even though its very small and currently very ugly. I can physically affect a more asthetic view just by moving some dirt and plants around. I can help things grow. Its a very empowering activity.
PS, I fell out of the moving truck and landed on my bottom. Just stepped right out of it backwards and missed the ground with my foot. No serious injuries were obtained.
Last night I went to the Longbranch, an east Austin dive bar, and checked out my pal Carolyn Merriman's band the Baby Girls. I had two.5 too many beers and felt all achy and gross today. I remember thinking the band was really good, but since I don't go for live music that much (too loud) its hard to tell.
I've been looking at random people's blogs and I especially love the ones where the blogger is very nearly illiterate and runs all their words together and spells almost every other word using acronyms and emoticons. It reminds me of the notes we would pass in middles school. Then you look at the person's profile and they're like, 32. Is typing really so difficult that you can't manage to spell a complete word?
There is something supremely satisfying in the semi-voyeuristic nature of reading other people's blogs. If you're reading mine you should be warned now that I am prone to being pretentious. I also don't allow anonymous comments, because if you can say (type) it you can own up to it and if you can't own up to it keep it to yourself. Remember the proverbial If you can't say anything nice don't say anything at all?
OMFG!! its liek 8pm n i gotta go lev work cuz i got 2 mcuh to do and get ppl some bday gifts :-p noone is 2 perfect 2 make mistakes and dat includes u so dont be a hater - out-T
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Justice is Blind
And additionally, it seems, deaf. I have received my first summons for Jury Duty, and despite my best efforts to appeal the assignment, I will be required to show up sometime during the 2nd week of December, which is coincidentally a very important, can't-really-miss-it week at work. I felt that I explained myself very well, but the folks down at the court house just could not quite wrap their brains around the fact that I do not hold a conventional job and cannot "take a few days off". My work does not wait, and if I am absent my work must continue without me so that deadlines may be met. I would not have a job to go back to not because I had been fired but because the job itself was over and done.What to do...
According to my very wise boyfriend, I should relax and not allow myself to be stressed about it. He tells me having panic attacks (to which I sometimes succumb) get me nowhere and only compound the problems. So I exhale and follow the instructions I already knew but sometimes just need to hear.
Today I am trying a new dish, Chicken Korma. I have never been a huge fan of Indian cuisine. In high school I had an Indian friend whose mother would always prepare foods fiery and incompatible with my tender palate.Since then I have avoided it, but the rest of the people in my office like Indian food, so I have been forced to give it another try. I have made an excellent choice in this curry and am enjoying it very much. So go to the Clay Pit in Austin and try it yourself.
Friday, November 18, 2005
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